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Psychology

Silence

Overview

Silence refers to the state of not speaking in communication. In face-to-face conversation, silence works as ma (a meaningful pause) and can carry many meanings: thinking, agreeing, feeling uncomfortable, and so on. In text communication, however, silence tends to be read in just one way, as "no response."

What's interesting is that silence is also a form of communication. Saying nothing can itself become a message. Not answering a question in a question box can also be taken as the message "I won't answer."

What silence means in a question box

When you don't answer a question in your question box, how does the sender read that silence? Some people read it kindly, thinking, "Maybe they haven't seen it" or "They must be busy," while others take it negatively, thinking, "I was ignored" or "They don't like me." Because the meaning of silence is left to the person receiving it, a meaning different from what the person staying silent intended can also arise.

For the person answering, silence is an easy and ambiguous way to respond. Skipping a question you don't want to answer is simple, but the reason is hard for the sender to see. Clearly declining with "I won't answer this question" is, in some ways, kinder to the sender than silence. But choosing between answering and clearly declining for every single question is a burden for the person answering.

Using silence well

Silence is not a bad thing. You have no duty to answer every question, and not answering is one way to respond. Provocative questions, questions that try to pry out personal information, questions where answering would hurt someone: for these, choosing silence is one option.

What matters is to see silence as a choice, not as running away. Not "I couldn't answer," but "I chose not to answer." This difference in mindset can help you stay steady while running your question box. You don't need to feel guilty about staying silent. Just as people are free to send questions, you are free not to answer.

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