Sense of obligation

Overview

A sense of obligation refers to the psychological pressure of feeling "I have to do this" because of outside expectations or social norms. In self-determination theory (Deci and Ryan, 1985), behavior driven by a sense of obligation is classified as "extrinsic motivation," and compared with intrinsic motivation (doing something because you want to), it's said to last less and to create stress more easily.

When a question box becomes an obligation

When you first started your question box, it was fun. You were happy when questions came, and thinking up answers was enjoyable. But before you know it, it may have turned into a sense of obligation: "A question came, so I have to answer" or "My followers are waiting, so I have to post."

This change happens gradually, so it's hard for you to notice it yourself. If you feel "opening my question box has been a drag lately," that's one sign of a sense of obligation.

How to break free of a sense of obligation

The first option is to take a break. Announce "I'm taking a break for a while" and step away, whether for a week or a month. If, while you're on a break, you find yourself thinking "I want to do it again," that's a clue that your intrinsic motivation has come back.

Even without taking a break, just loosening your rules can sometimes make things easier. You might tell yourself "I don't have to answer every question," "I don't have to post every day," or "Short answers are fine." Removing the unspoken rules you had placed on yourself may lighten the sense of obligation.

A question box is something you do when you want to. When you don't want to, you don't have to. Remembering this obvious fact can also be a chance to ease the sense of obligation.