Left on read (kidoku suruu)

Overview

Being left on read (kidoku suruu) is when, in a messaging app like LINE (a messaging app widely used in Japan), the "Read" mark showing the other person has read your message appears, but no reply comes. It's also called kidoku mushi ("ignored after reading"). It's different from being left unread (midoku suruu), where a message is left without being opened.

One reason being left on read becomes an issue is that it makes the fact that "they read it" visible. Back when people wrote letters, you couldn't tell whether the other person had read yours. With email, too, you can't tell unless you request a read receipt. But the read feature brings the act of "reading and not replying" out into the open. It's a new communication worry created by technology.

How it differs from being left unread

A phrase that gets compared with being left on read is "left unread." You can sort out the difference by whether there's a read mark. Being left on read means not replying even though the other person can see you've read it, while being left unread means leaving a message without opening it, so it never gets marked as read.

Which one hurts more can flip depending on how the person on the receiving end interprets it. Being left on read confronts you with the definite fact that "they read it and ignored me," while being left unread leaves room for "maybe they just haven't read it yet." However, there's also "read in practice but left unread," where someone reads only the content in the notification preview without marking it as read, and being left unread for a long time is sometimes taken as an even stronger rejection: "they don't even want to open it."

In other words, there's no right answer to which one is ruder. Since the recipient is the one who decides whether to reply, one approach for the person who sent the message is to "not read too much into why you were ignored."

Question boxes and being left on read

A question box shows senders nothing that indicates their question was read, so strictly speaking, being left on read doesn't happen. Even after you send a question, you can't tell whether the person answering has read it. This is also a relief for senders. Because you can't be sure that "they read it and ignored me," some people interpret it kindly: "Maybe they're busy and haven't looked yet."

Still, when the person answering is replying to other questions but not to yours, it can hurt in a way similar to being left on read. "They must be reading them, but they skipped only my question."

It's okay to be left on read

When people are left on read, they sometimes think, "Maybe they don't like me." But the real reason might be simpler. They were busy, they forgot while thinking about what to say, the notification got buried, or they meant to reply later and never did.

It's the same with question boxes. When the person answering skips a question, the reason isn't necessarily ill will toward the sender. There may be too many questions to keep up with, they can't think of how to answer, or the timing was off. Even if your question gets skipped, that isn't proof that you're disliked. If you send it again, maybe this time it'll get an answer.