Small failure stories beat perfect answers: the pratfall effect

The skilled contestant who spilled coffee

In 1966, psychologist Elliot Aronson ran an interesting experiment. Participants listened to a recording of a quiz show. The contestant was a skilled person who answered one hard question after another correctly. In one condition, this person spilled a cup of coffee at the end of the show.

The result was surprising. Participants liked the contestant more in the version where the contestant spilled the coffee than in the version where they didn't. When a skilled person makes a small mistake, it creates a sense of relief, "Oh, they're not perfect," and makes them feel closer. This is the "pratfall effect."

However, this effect comes with a condition. Likability goes up only when someone who was already rated highly makes the mistake. When someone who was rated low makes a mistake, their rating drops even further. In other words, it's "a small slip-up by someone who normally has it together" that raises likability.

Why aiming for perfect answers in your question box backfires

When you write answers in your question box, it's natural to think "I want to look smart," "I want to write a funny answer," or "I want to give the perfect answer." But answers that are too perfect make readers feel distant.

Here's what a perfect answer to "What study method do you recommend?" looks like: "I use the Pomodoro Technique, repeating 25 minutes of focus and a 5-minute break. I tackle the hardest tasks in the morning when my brain is most active, and use the evening for review." It's correct, but it reads like a textbook and has no human touch.

Here's an answer to the same question written with the pratfall effect in mind: "I heard the Pomodoro Technique was good and tried it, but I kept touching my phone before the 25-minute timer went off, so at first it didn't work at all. In the end, I solved it by leaving my phone in another room. Before any study method, keeping your distance from your phone might be the most important thing."

Doesn't the second one feel more relatable? The relief of "This person loses to their phone just like me" is what makes them more likable.

Saying "Actually, me too" builds trust

When your question box gets a message asking for advice, replying with only advice like "You should do this" lands completely differently from starting with "Actually, I've worried about the same thing" and then giving advice.

The first can come across as advice from someone looking down on you. The second is received as empathy from someone who's been through the same thing. Even if the advice itself is the same, just adding "Actually, me too" tends to make it more convincing and trustworthy.

Say someone writes, "I'm bad at speaking in front of people." You could answer, "You'll get used to it with practice." Or you could answer, "My voice used to shake when I spoke in front of people too. I still get nervous, but it got easier once I realized that if I can get through the first 30 seconds, I'll be fine." The second answer should be more likely to resonate.

Showing your failures and weak points isn't weakness. It's strength. People who can admit "I'm not perfect either" are seen by their followers as honest and trustworthy.

Things to keep in mind when you add a failure story

To make the pratfall effect work for you, there are a few things to keep in mind.

Keep it to small failures. A failure on the level of "I spilled coffee" raises likability, but a huge failure that can't be undone lowers it. For failure stories you share in question box answers, "something you can laugh about" is the right level.

After the failure story, add what you learned from it. If it ends with just the failure, it's only complaining. If you structure it as "I failed, but I learned X from it," the failure story turns into a positive message.

Don't add a failure story every time. If every answer includes one, people get the impression that "this person fails all the time." Weaving one in naturally about once every 5 answers is a good balance.

Rather than agonizing for 30 minutes trying to write the perfect answer, writing honestly, "Actually, I once made this kind of mistake," reaches your followers' hearts. You don't have to be perfect. In fact, it's better not to be. That's what the pratfall effect teaches us.