Social comparison
Overview
Social comparison refers to the psychological process of judging yourself by comparing your abilities, opinions, and situation with those of others. It is a theory that Leon Festinger discussed in a 1954 paper. When there is no objective standard, people tend in part to figure out where they stand by comparing themselves with others.
Comparison comes in two kinds: upward comparison (comparing yourself with others who are better off than you) and downward comparison (comparing yourself with others who are worse off than you). Upward comparison can spur ambition but can also lie behind feelings of inferiority, while downward comparison can bring a sense of relief but can also be one factor that stops growth. Both have their pros and cons.
Question boxes and the comparison trap
On social media, how lively other people's question boxes are is made visible. "That person gets so many questions in their question box." "That person's answers always go viral." This information can trigger unconscious upward comparison.
The problem is that the comparison isn't fair. Comparing your number of questions with someone who has ten times as many followers is hard to use for judging yourself. Also, what people make public on social media can lean toward the parts that are going well. The times they agonize over nasty questions, or the lonely nights when no questions come, can't be seen from the outside. Comparing other people's highlights with your everyday life is like comparing an edited movie with raw, unedited footage.
Breaking free from comparison
Stopping comparison completely isn't easy. But you can change how you compare. One way is to switch who you compare yourself with, from other people to your past self. "My answers are better than last month." "I can now answer questions I couldn't answer six months ago." This kind of comparison over time becomes a yardstick for confirming that you are growing.
For the person answering who is struggling with comparison while running a question box, deliberately looking at other people's question boxes less often also works. Being inspired by other people's success and feeling down because of it are separated by a very thin line. If you notice you're in the second state, you need the judgment to step back.