Self-esteem

Overview

Self-esteem refers to the sense of positively evaluating and accepting your own existence and abilities. It's a concept Morris Rosenberg dealt with in a 1965 book, and people with high self-esteem are said to bounce back well when facing difficulties and to tend to have stable relationships. Self-esteem isn't fixed. It shifts with experience and environment.

How question boxes relate to self-esteem

A question box affects self-esteem for better and for worse. When compliments or fun questions arrive, you may feel "people want me," and your self-esteem can go up. On the other hand, when days go by with no questions, or a negative message arrives, you may end up feeling "maybe I'm worthless."

The problem is tying the reactions in your question box directly to your own worth. No questions might just mean people are busy. A negative message might just mean the sender was in a bad mood. Outside reactions and your own worth are separate things.

Not letting your question box push you around

It's important not to make your self-esteem depend on your question box. A question box is just entertainment, not a tool for measuring your worth.

In practical terms, decide in advance how often you'll open your question box (up to twice a day, for example). Even if a day goes by with no questions, let it go with "some days are like that." Separate negative messages as the sender's problem, not a judgment of you.

The foundation of self-esteem lies outside your question box. If things like your friendships, hobbies you enjoy, and small daily achievements are stable, the ups and downs of your question box are less likely to push you around.