Oversharing

Overview

Oversharing is the act of revealing more private information than necessary on social media or in conversation. Details of your love life, family problems, health conditions, income, past trauma: information you would normally share only with people close to you ends up being broadcast to a wide audience of strangers. You may feel you're "just being honest," but the people receiving it may feel "I didn't ask to know that much."

Why oversharing happens easily in question boxes

Question boxes are an environment where oversharing happens easily. When probing questions like "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?", "How much do you earn a year?", or "What was the hardest time in your past?" arrive from anonymous senders, the feeling of "They asked, so I have to answer" kicks in.

On top of that, there's an unspoken expectation that question box answers are "more interesting the more honest they are." Some owners end up giving answers that go too far. But those answers may get shared on social media or spread as screenshots, and stay on the internet even after you delete them. Even if it doesn't bother you the moment you post, there are cases where you regret it a few months later.

The risks of oversharing

The risks of oversharing are wide-ranging. They include the risk of doxing as personal information piles up, the risk of old posts being found when you're job hunting or changing jobs, and trouble in your relationships (making a friend's or family member's private matters public without asking).

Answers that mention other people's private lives need special care. Answers like "My friend is X" or "My family is Y" mean you're making someone else's information public without their consent. How much of your own information you reveal is your call, but you have no right to reveal other people's information.

Finding the right balance of self-disclosure

Self-disclosure itself isn't a bad thing. A moderate amount of self-disclosure can make your followers feel closer to you. The problem is where to draw the line for "moderate."

A practical standard is to ask yourself, "Would I be embarrassed reading this a year from now?" It's also a good idea to save answers to probing questions as drafts first and post them after some time has passed. "Not answering" is always an option. For questions that are too private, a light "That's a secret" is enough.