Conversation thief (kaiwa dorobo)
Overview
A conversation thief (kaiwa dorobo) is a slang term for a person who grabs the topic while someone else is still talking and turns it into a story about themselves. "A friend is talking about their trip, and you talk over them with your own trip." "You are supposed to be listening to someone's worries, but before you know it you are talking about your own." A conversation thief ends up taking control of the conversation without realizing it.
Conversation thieves don't necessarily mean any harm. It often comes from good intentions, such as wanting to share their own experience or show empathy. But as a result, the other person tends to feel that nobody listened to them.
Conversation thieves in a question box
A conversation thief appears in question box answers when the person answering uses the sender's question as a springboard to talk about themselves. They were asked "What do you think about X?", yet 90% of the answer is their own story, and the actual answer to the question is a single line at the end. The sender wanted their question answered, but ends up reading the autobiography of the person answering.
Talking about your own experience is not bad in itself. In fact, concrete experience can make an answer more convincing. The problem is the ratio. The answer to the question comes first, and your own experience comes second. When this order flips, you get closer to being a conversation thief.
Answers that listen to the sender
One trick for answering without becoming a conversation thief is to "repeat the sender's question." Take in the question first, as in "So you're asking about X," and then share your own thoughts. This small extra step helps the sender feel that they were really heard.
When you talk about your own experience, how it comes across also depends on whether it connects to the question. Tie it to the question first, as in "I've had a similar experience...," and then tell it. Talking about yourself with no connection to the question makes you a conversation thief, but talking about yourself in a way that ties back to the question reads as sharing useful information. A single connecting phrase can be what separates a conversation thief from a good answer.