Assertiveness
Overview
Assertiveness (often called "assertion" in Japan) refers to a communication technique for expressing your thoughts, feelings, and rights honestly and appropriately while respecting the other person's rights. The concept developed in American clinical psychology in the 1970s.
The idea of assertiveness divides styles of self-expression into three types: aggressive (standing up for your own rights while ignoring the other person's), passive (respecting the other person's rights while giving up your own), and assertive (respecting both your rights and theirs). Assertiveness is the third style, and it aims for expression that neither sacrifices yourself nor hurts the other person.
Assertiveness in a question box
People answering a question box tend to swing between aggressive and passive. When a nasty question comes in, do you fire back aggressively, or put up with it and answer passively? Assertiveness sits in between.
One concrete method is the "I-message." Not "Your question is rude" (aggressive), and not "I'll answer anything" (passive), but "This question is hard for me to answer, so I'd appreciate it if you could ask it a different way" (assertive). Make "I" the subject instead of "you," and share how you feel without attacking the other person.
Putting assertiveness into practice
Assertiveness is a skill, and it's said that you get better with practice. A question box can work as a place to practice it. The experience of responding assertively to anonymous senders can carry over into your real-life relationships too.
There's a template for assertive answers: describe the facts ("This question includes personal details"), state your feelings ("I'm hesitant to answer it"), make a request ("It would be easier to answer if it were asked in a more general way"), and show the result ("If you do that, I'll gladly answer"). Keep these four steps in mind, and write answers that are neither attacks nor giving in.