Courage

Overview

Courage refers to the psychological strength to face fear, anxiety, and risk and act even while recognizing them. Aristotle defined courage as "a virtue lying between recklessness and cowardice." Feeling no fear is recklessness, and giving in to fear is cowardice. Acting while feeling fear is courage.

There's a way of thinking that divides courage into "physical courage" and "psychological courage." Physical courage is the strength to face physical danger, and psychological courage is the strength to face the fear of social rejection, embarrassment, or failure. What a question box calls for is the latter.

Four kinds of courage a question box needs

A question box involves four kinds of courage.

First, the courage to send a question. Even when you're anonymous, putting your questions or feelings into words and sending them to someone takes courage. It's the strength to get past the worry, "Will they think I'm weird for asking this?"

Second, the courage to answer honestly. Giving a safe, polite answer is easy, but making your real thoughts public is scary. You might be criticized, or you might be misunderstood. It's the strength to accept that fear and say what you really think.

Third, the courage not to answer. It's the strength to resist the sense of duty that says "I have to answer everything" and openly skip questions you don't want to answer.

Fourth, the courage to quit. It's the strength to decide to close your question box when it becomes painful, without being trapped by sunk costs.

Courage is like a muscle

Courage isn't an inborn personality trait but a skill that gets stronger the more you use it. Sending your first anonymous question is nerve-racking, but the resistance fades each time you send one. Answers work the same way: even if at first you can only give safe answers, as you gain experience you become able to give answers that go deeper.

What matters is starting with small acts of courage. You don't need to jump straight into sending deep questions. Start with light questions and go a little deeper bit by bit. Answers work the same way: start by mixing in just a little of what you really think. By building up small experiences of success, you grow your courage muscle. A question box can be a training ground for psychological courage, which is hard to build in everyday life.