Reciprocity

Overview

Reciprocity is the psychological tendency to feel you have to return the favor in equal measure when you receive something from someone. It's one of the six principles of persuasion that social psychologist Robert Cialdini set out in Influence (1984). Tasting a free sample at a supermarket and then ending up buying the product is a classic example of reciprocity.

Reciprocity in question boxes

Reciprocity can be at work in question boxes too. Some people get a careful answer and think, "I'll send another question." You send a compliment, and the answer compliments you back. Then you think, "I'll compliment them again."

Self-disclosure works the same way. When the person answering talks honestly about themselves, the sender may start sending more personal questions, thinking, "I'll ask honestly too." This back-and-forth leads to a deeper relationship through the question box.

Tips for making reciprocity work for you

To make reciprocity work in your question box, start by giving first. Careful answers, words of thanks, honest self-disclosure: offering these first can be what prompts your followers to give something back.

But giving because you expect something in return could backfire. If you're frustrated that "I answered carefully, but I'm not getting more questions," you're expecting too much from reciprocity.