Question box safety for teens: what parents and teens should know

The reality of teens and anonymous question services

Anonymous question services are used by junior high and high school students too. They put a question box URL in their X or Instagram profile and get anonymous questions from classmates and friends. You might even see someone in the classroom after school calling out, "Send me something on my question box."

For teens, a question box can also be a tool for growing closer to friends. Being able to anonymously send questions you can't ask face to face, like "Do you like anyone?" or "What do you think of me?", probably fits the way teens communicate.

However, teens using it face risks that adults don't. First, because it's used inside the closed community of a school, people can more easily guess "who sent it," even when it's anonymous. Second, if it's misused as a tool for bullying, it could affect their whole school life. Third, their understanding of how to handle personal information may still be developing.

This article is written for both teens themselves and their parents. We lay out concrete guidelines for enjoying a question box safely, with a correct understanding of the risks.

Keeping it from turning into bullying: the first rules matter

Whether a question box becomes a breeding ground for bullying depends on the rules you set at the start.

First, be sure to turn on Review before delivery. Questions containing abuse or aggressive wording automatically get a "Needs review" mark, so you can filter them out before you see unpleasant questions.

Next, decide for yourself which questions you won't answer. "I won't answer questions about badmouthing other people." "I won't answer questions about how someone looks." "I won't answer questions that name a specific person." If you decide these rules ahead of time, it becomes easier to delete inappropriate questions when they arrive.

You also need to be careful when you post answers. If you answer a question from a classmate, people at school may figure out, "That answer is about X." Before you post, stop for a moment and think about whether your answer could remind people of a specific person.

The most important rule is "stop right away if it starts to feel bad." A question box is a tool for having fun, not something you keep putting up with. If unpleasant questions keep coming, closing your question box isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a smart decision to protect yourself.

Protecting personal information: what teens should watch out for

Compared with adults, teens tend to be less aware of the risk of their personal information leaking. This is largely due to a lack of experience, and it isn't their fault. But information that has been posted on the internet can't be completely erased, so knowing ahead of time matters.

There are questions you should never answer: your school name, your class, your club, the name of your cram school, your nearest station, your route to school, and what your home or its surroundings look like. Combined, these details can lead to someone identifying you. With information like "in the 2nd year at X Junior High, on the basketball team, and commuting from Y Station," people can narrow it down to one person fairly well.

You also need to be careful when sharing photos. A question box has no way to attach photos to answers, but you might add a photo when you share an answer on social media. Photos of your school uniform, your school building, or your route to school could lead to someone identifying your school. Signs or buildings in the background of a selfie can also be clues to your location.

Thinking "It's fine because only my friends see it" is dangerous. Social media posts can spread to friends of friends and even further. Anyone can open the public page of your question box. Choose what you post on the assumption that "adults you don't know might be looking."

What parents should know

When parents find out their child is using a question box, their reactions tend to split into 2 types: banning it with "Stop, it's dangerous," or leaving them alone with "Do whatever you want." Neither can be called a good approach.

Banning it can backfire. For teens, social media is part of their friendships, and if they're banned from using a question box, they may fear being left out of their circle of friends. As a result, they may end up using it on a separate account, hidden from their parents. When they use it in secret, it becomes harder for them to ask for help when something goes wrong, so the risk actually goes up.

What we recommend is "watching over them with understanding." First, ask your child to explain what kind of service a question box is. If you ask with real interest, like "How do you use it?" or "What kinds of questions do you get?", your child is more likely to feel that "my parents are on my side, not against me."

Then check these 3 points together: (1) Is Review before delivery turned on? (2) Are they posting anything that could identify their school name or address? (3) Have they decided what to do when they get a nasty question (delete it, close the question box, or talk to a parent)?

The most important thing is to keep a relationship where they can come to you when they're in trouble. Tell them, "Let me know if anything happens," and when they actually come to you, listen without scolding. This trust is an important line of defense for your child's safety online.

What to do when you get a nasty question

Here's a step-by-step guide for what teens should do when they get a nasty question in their question box.

Step 1: Take a screenshot. Even if it's a nasty question, it's important to save it as evidence. Later, when you talk to your school or your parents, you can show exactly what it said.

Step 2: Delete the question. Don't answer it, and delete it right away. Never argue back in your answer or expose it on social media. Reacting may please the person who sent it and make things escalate.

Step 3: Talk to an adult you trust. It can be anyone: a parent, your homeroom teacher, or a school counselor. You might think, "It's anonymous, so no one knows who sent it," but if you talk to an adult, you can figure out what to do together. Don't keep it all to yourself.

Step 4: Close your question box if needed. If the harassment continues, close your question box for a while by turning on Pause new questions. You might feel, "I don't want it to look like I'm running away," but protecting your own heart is not running away. Once things calm down, you can start taking questions again.

If it has turned into serious threats or bullying, in addition to reporting it to your school, you can contact the Children's Human Rights 110 Hotline (Kodomo no Jinken 110-ban, a free line run by Japan's Ministry of Justice) at 0120-007-110. Even for anonymous posts, legal procedures can sometimes identify the sender. It is never true that "anything goes because it's anonymous."